just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
