You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
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