Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
