I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
