So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
