i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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