I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
