Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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