I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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