Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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