There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
