Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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