glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
