It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
