i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
