They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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