doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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