He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
