There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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