you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
