my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
