so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
