Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
