At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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