My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
