C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
