Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
