This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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