Pappa wants mamma naked
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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