Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just pee around me
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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