the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
