I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
