brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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