how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
