Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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