I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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