The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
