At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
