im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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