No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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