No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
