I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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