I just cut my nipple shaving
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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