Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
