So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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