I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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