I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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