i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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