Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
