Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
