He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
