Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
