mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
