How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
smell my finger.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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