we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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